Before the distinct memory of the pain of longing escapes my mind, I endeavour to pen this review of the captioned book.
I must first say that I did not intend to actually buy this book. In fact, I was in Kino looking for Redemption Falls by Joseph O'Connor after listening to his interview on BBC's The Ticket. Disappointed that it was not available yet, I was determined not to leave the bookstore empty handed. I chanced (how apt eh) upon the book and my initial thoughts were, this is titled after failed paperbacks and therefore it cannot be any good. But after reading the first 2 pages, I was hooked.
*NOTE SPOILERS AHEAD - IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THE BOOK AND THINK THAT YOU MAY WANT TO READ IT SOMETIME AND WILL ONLY ENJOY THE BOOK WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT HAPPENS, STOP READING NOW*
In retrospect, I wonder if it is because of the character of Clare. Her innocence and sweetness and humanity just permeates the book. It just jumps up and grabs at you. The way she goes "Henry!" and the way Audrey Niffenegger paints the scene of their "first" meeting in the library - you are just suffused with the same joy that Clare feels. You just practically...glow! There's no other way to describe it. And my attraction to her flows from page 1 all the way to the end of the book. I can't think of any singular flaw with her character. Is she portrayed as too perfect? No, I don't think so, but I can't see any flaws with her, none that I would condemn roundly and emphatically at least.
It is this same attraction and the love story between Henry and Clare that leads me to weep sadly towards the end of the book. I finished the book in 4 days and the last day I was reading, I started at their first attempt at childbirth. I could not find any part in the book wherein I could stop without having sleepless nights. But yet, even as I read, I wanted not to read it because, despite hoping against hope, I knew that there was no happy ending. I could not stop because I needed closure. I did not want to prolong that agony which was welling up inside me to overflowing. And it is with these same emotions that my heart goes out to Clare...
If asked, I would say that this book is about patience endurance, there's a biblical equivalent for that term, but it escapes me now. Clare is a prime example of that. I could never stand that...that inevitability...that knowing feeling that you know exactly what is going to happen, but you are powerless to change your destiny. I could never do what Clare did...wait another 40 odds years for that singular moment...and to what end?
I really need to learn how to live life. Really.
To live is to love and to love is to lose and to lose is to gain. You exchange love tangibles for intangibles. You trade a loving touch for a memory of that touch. You bring your memories with you to your grave and it is part of your soul. You are enriched by it and though you cannot touch again in this life, you are comforted in the fact that while death and decay can take away that hand, nothing can take away that memory and you bring that memory with you to heaven where you will reunite with all your loved ones.
What about Henry? He's, as one of the IMDB forumers describes, an anti-hero. He is at once muscular (though it never comes out that he's a beefcake - he's as lithe as a panther and he pondered on the wisdom of taking on the high school jock) and gaunt. Flowing locks and trim hair. Abusive (to himself, I don't think he was abusive to his GFs despite Gomez's protrayal) and gentle and cultured. He's the epitome of man as much as Clare is the epitome of woman. To me at least.
While my wife is away in London, I can empathise so much with Clare and Henry. I'm talking to her via Yahoo messenger on her blackberry and the next moment, she is gone. Disappeared due to the unfathomable nature of our new generation devices and I feel like Clare when Henry disappears. I worry about where she is, I wonder if she's having fun, but I know and am certain that she will return. And when she does, she will tell me what's going on in her life. My wife "drops in" and "drops out" of my life now in the same way that Henry does to Clare. And as I finish the book, I am suffused with love for my wife. I love her so and I want us to have, in terms of quality, the kind of relationship that Henry and Clare had. It's not a biblical example, yes, but hey, it's honest and real and I don't think it breaks any biblical precept...there's no prohibition I know of against time-travel.
My heart still aches when I think of Henry and Clare at the end. More Clare though, in that last scene. Somehow the juxtaposition of a 43 year old Henry against a 80 something year old Care moves me to emphatise with the latter. Maybe it's the number of years that she has waited. But her fragility set against the wisp of her white long hair brings up a very touching image in me. I am reminded of the visual double picture wherein you eiter see an old lady hunched back or a young lady with a coat. I always see the old lady and in my mind, that is now Clare. I am both happy and sad at the same time when they meet. Happy for the moment, but sad for the aftermath.
And I live in the aftermaths of my life.
Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams. I hope the movie will capture the essence of the book. I hope it won't turn out to be a very hollywood blockbuster production - big crude vulgar and in your face. I'm not immediately impressed with the choice of Eric Bana, but then I remember him in Munich and I think it cannot be so bad, it'll be interesting. In fact, it would not be far off to say that he's reprising the same anti-hero role as in Munich.
I don't know anything about Rachel McAdams. I did some research on her and I realise that I watched her in The Hot Chick, or at least the snippets of it which I caught. I don't quite see her as an older Clare. I think she would be perfect for the growing up Clare. I don't know. I was wondering who I would cast as Clare and no one came to mind. But it would have to be one of those younger girls. Resse Witherspoon came to mind because I remember her character from Walk The Line and incidentally, I am struck (again) by how similar both characters are. They nurse the anti-heroes back to life. I won't judge Rachel McAdams just yet. I hope she does a good job.
I can't wait for the movie...but then again, I know the ending...and perhaps I won't watch it. My heart can't take another sad ending.
Oh, and before I close. I was going to make a point about Audrey Niffenegger. She's a dark character this one. Have you seen her website? Somehow everything pops into place when I see it and I understand why it ended the way it did. Do I blame her? Well, the question that begs asking is whether this story would have been the same (or been this good or been this memorable or [you can fill in the blanks]) if it didn't end the way it did? I guess it worked for me.
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